Immature love says, “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.”
~Erich Fromm
This whole week..... wherever I go, its like Valentine's day special....gifts, roses, teddies and the list goes on.................. So, I thought that the concept of Lover's day has gained that much importance universally that people make this day as something part of their lives. Yes...tats ok...but still my only doubt is whether they really mean the exact 'purpose' of the day and whether tat purpose is served or not..... Is valentine's day just a means of entertainment or enjoyment with 'tat special someone' or is it a day that gives an opportunity to express your love to your soul-mate in an exact way that you wanted to? Is there a necessity for something like this day?
I wonder whether nowadays people, especially the adolescent boys and girls really understand the meaning of love or is it something like a means of 'timepass' for them. Wherever we turn about, we can see young boys and girls going together while cutting their classes and jus passing their precious time like tat, in an young age where they can accomplish great things in their life. But actually, according to me, what they think and do lyk tis at this age is not love but it can be mentioned with some other words like infatuation, attraction, lust and so on....Yes, its b'coz of their age and the physical and psychological hormone changes in their body that make them go into something like love affairs ( puppy love) which is so childish, ruining their entire future and career.
Ok...then if this is so, what is 'true love' all about? I donno to give poetic or cinematic definitions like "love is like the sky,stars..." and so on.... But when thinking practically, this is a gist of what I got exactly in ma mind abt the word 'love' :
Love....I mean, the love which blossoms between a young man and woman can be held on till their death only if its a sensible and matured one unlike the other attractions and infatuations. Maybe, the physical attractions and appearances may be the first step to start a love relationship between two souls, but this factor is only a temporary thing and with this attraction and desire alone a love relationship can't last at all. In my opinion, a true love is the one which doesn't gets break-up at ANY situation in life other than one of the persons' death. So, literally, if we deeply think about this statement, it becomes possible and true only when both of them mutually have the same feelings and understanding and sharing for each other, right? not in a one-sided manner. Without knowing this fact, I feel pity for so many young souls, who fall in love with someone in an one-sided manner and go on lamenting and go into other unwanted habits, mistaking it as true love. So, basically, if its love, it MUST be double-sided to be a successful one. Some of the attributes of love that flashes into my mind currently are 'giving and taking' attitude, care, affection, being supportive, admiring, appreciating, missing, liking, being faithful and truthful, transparency, sharing and so on.... In a nutshell, perfect love is something like loving and accepting and liking the other person as a whole with all of their imperfections. After all, no man in this world is perfect! Also, a pair can lead their life successfully only when they are always in phase with each other, in the sense that, they are compatible and comfortable with each other. It is the only key for a peaceful, life-long love life. Whatever it be, my entire idea of love is simply,
"Love after marriage is only true love and nothing else"....Yes, before marriage I can't accept tat it is love, its something like a liking or attraction towards another person and anybody can go through that....but even that love can be said as a true and genuine one only when it goes on nurturing and budding between the two after wedding as years progress. Now just take a lil' time and think, 'How many of them are like tat??? Why I insist this because, in real life, its after marriage that they go through tough challenges that challenge their true love for each other. It is that period of time when we can see the other person's 'real' and 'true' colour and the challenge about it is, do we continue to love them inspite of their negative characteristics. This is why many love marriages end in a break-up since the couple who love dearly before marriage fail to love each other after marriage. Then what is the use of their love and what is that love that they had?
So, my conclusion is, I have given my own creation of definition for love which is stated below :
L - Liking and living for
O - Our
V - Valentine
E - Ever and ever....till our heart stops beating......so that there is no need for a special day called 'Valentine's day', since each and every day of their life will be cherished as lover's day....................
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. ~Peter Ustinov
